It has been a little while, and I’ve had heaps of criticism for this blog, with people
calling my home phone at 2.00 am, yelling social media, and others pretending to
praise me and then suddenly laughing and calling me pathetic over Facebook. I
knew this blog could be badly received, but that said, some people have told me
they’ve enjoyed reading it. I apologise in advance for anything that may offend
anyone. I am not trying to target individuals or our generation, nor do my
criticisms apply to everyone. It is difficult for me to not generalise at times.
I am not forcing anyone to read this or to even pay attention; but I’m going to
continue writing because I care about these things and because I think
awareness can be a helpful thing.
I cannot remember the last time that I went to a party where
there weren’t people that had either “crashed” or were attempting, to
gatecrash. I’ve been thinking about what parties mean these days, the
implications of hosting, and the general disrespect a lot of people have when
someone offers up their home as a venue for the night.
This might be because in recent years, invitations are no
longer handwritten or printed and distributed to friends in their mailbox, but
rather are received on a screen. Parties are now not about celebrating an
occasion, such as a birthday, but about getting a large group of people, and
often include drinking, smoking, a dance floor with loud music and a strobe
light, and of course, photography. I’ve been to enough parties to know they
aren’t all like this, but parties (these days I’d say a party is classified 50+
people, generally having over 100) have become few and far between.
And as embarrassing as some may think this is to admit, I went to a party around a month ago now, and it was the first party I have been to all year, keep in mind, it is almost October. I got home and I realised, that I could not remember the name of the guy who hosted the party, nor did I attempt to find and introduce myself to him. And I feel really awful for not even saying hi or thanking him. I was a plus 1. “Plus 1” implies that you scored an invite by a mutual friend, and most parties have several recipients of this type of invitation. Plus 1’s also generally seem to be to the same girls and guys over and over again, the ones considered typically popular perhaps.
I mentioned before, parties are becoming less and less
common. I think the main reason for this is the gatecrashing, but also, the
general disrespect. It’s hard because a lot of people expect to be able to
drink, and with drinking comes drunkenness; which is hard to monitor and a pain
to clean up after. Drinking is difficult because it places the host and the
host’s parents in an awkward position, and is essentially something
illegal. For this reason, people prefer not to host parties because for them,
the night usually involves running around dealing with parents, gatecrashers,
drunkenness and frequently police.
Crashing means that you have people who often take advantage
of your home. I had my own birthday party last year, and in total around 20
people gatecrashed throughout the night. I actually tried to physically and
forcibly drag a few guys out; who tried to win me over with words and refused
to move. There was no way they were here to wish me a happy sixteenth; but
rather get with some chicks and use my house as an excuse to have somewhere to
go on a Saturday night. It is the height of rudeness, I think, to crash
someone’s house when you are uninvited, to avert their eyes and hope to blend
in with the other partygoers, and to leisurely dance, eat, and drink with no
intention of celebrating the occasion at hand.
With the 20
succesful gate crashers I had to my party; another 15 or so turned up as it was
wrapping up. I discovered at around 10.00 that many of my friends phones and ipods
were missing. It didn’t take long to realise they had actually been stolen…
that’s to say; someone actually found out my address, made their way to my
house, jumped over my gate or lied to my dad about who they were, came into the
room where girls had their bags, and removed goods that totalled to $1600. I
wonder if these people are people I know. I’ve had several friends who have had
their belongings taken at parties too. I ended up trying to replace as much as
I could that was stolen, while feeling very embarrassed and distressed that my
party had caused my friends to lose things they thought would be safe. If
you’re the host; you’re going to feel obliged to replace stolen items, and you’ll
feel guilty. I don’t think our generation has much trust for each other, most
people know to keep any personal items on their person, and not even fizzy
drink is safe because people spike it. Parents have to pay for bouncers if they
want any chance at avoiding gatecrashing, and even then, people go to the
extent to claim someone else’s identity and take their spot on the list!
It’s kind of sad really, because we no longer celebrate
significant moments in people’s lives. We get excited to captain our
Instagrams’ as “Annie’s 18th” and anticipate the upload of the professional
photos the following morning. People feel no shame in vomiting on someone’s
lawn, or running through several neighbours houses; acting as if this is a
normal entrance/doorway into a party. No one thanks hosts or offers to clean up
or introduces themselves to the parents of the host. The host is simply the
means to party, due to their provision of a party space.
One of my close friends had a party last year. It began at
7.00 pm, and by 7.45 pm it was over, with people laughing at the warning of
police, and sprinting at the actual sight of them. 150+ people had gatecrashed.
I stood there, absolutely stunned at the amount of people I had recognised who
were standing all the way up the road, attempting to climb over the neighbour’s
fence or dodge the bouncers. When you think about 150 people having the nerve
to come to a 16th birthday celebration uninvited, it seems impossible
that we consider this to be normal… My friend not only had a terrible birthday,
but in the weeks leading up to the party, was harassed and bullied over social
media due to requests and declines of invitations and plus 1’s.
I had my own rough experience that night. I tried to step up
onto the driveway, and asked people to leave, telling them that they were
uninvited, that they were ruining my friend’s night, that the police were on
their way, and that I thought it was extremely rude. As a result, I was punched
in the face and fell to the ground, and do you know what people did? They
laughed and cheered and actually congratulated this person. They thought it was
a brilliant thing, that I had been hit, for asking strangers to leave my
friend’s property when they were uninvited. Earlier on in the night, I
recognised a girl by the side door, who I knew was uninvited. I knew her name,
though I wasn’t friends with her. I heard her say to my friend’s mum, “hey can
you please mind my bag, like inside or something, thanks yeah,” to which my
friend’s mum responded, “of course, are you one of my daughter’s friends?” to
which she lied saying, “yes, yes, my name’s Hannah.” I walked over to and I
asked her why she just lied about her name, and before my friend’s mum realised
what had happened, she was sprinting up the driveway, mortified.
It’s sad because it seems that we’ve taken this kind of
party behaviour as the norm, and everyone honestly thinks it’s acceptable to
behave impolitely. I can’t put the blame solely on the crashers, not on anyone
really. It is honestly just the way of parties in this generation. For the
crashers to find out though, the invitees would have had to spill the details
of the event, another example of the wavering trust and idea that it’s okay to
invite whomever, once you are invited to a party.
It seems that parties are "gay" when the people are sober, the
music isn’t from last month and doesn’t have a constant bass, and when there
aren’t more than 100 people. Good parties are where there is alcohol
everywhere, so many people you can hardly move, a lack of parents, no bouncers,
a late finish time and a location easily achievable by public transport. Honestly,
many parents probably have no idea which events their children are actually
invited to, and which events they hope to successfully camouflage into.
Look what some of the party behaviour has resulted in.. Liam Knight ended up in a coma after a brawl at a party. I know several of my friends who have been hospitalised due to being encouraged to drink. And I know many of my friends who have had cash, jewellery and iPhones stolen.
The next party you go to, do me a favour. Be invited J! Don’t tell anyone what
the address is that begs for it. Introduce yourself to the host and their
parents, thank the host and their parents as you leave, bring some food along!
And wish the host a happy birthday or whatever the occasion may be. I hope you
don’t think I’m some party pooper who stays at home each Saturday night. I
don’t mean to be a killjoy, but it’s time some of the hosts deserve a little
more respect; they are entitled to enjoy their night.
